Go and Love yourself
My 7 year old daughter came home from school the other day and asked me if she was fat, FAT!!! I stood in shock as I looked at my TINY beautiful girl. Why would you ask me that? I said softly. "The other girls at school were all talking about it" see replied. I sat beside her building her self confidence while inside I was remembering the age I started to use the phrase "I'm fat".
It has taken me the longest time to be OK with posting images of my whole self. I've always been fine with posting images of my face but my body confidence has been a massive black hole in my life. At the age of 16 I developed an eating disorder that over the years would see my weight go up and down like a roller coaster. I hated everything about my body and all I could see were flaws. 3 months ago I decided enough was enough! I needed first to love who I was and then to go on a journey, not of losing weight but of being healthy. Learning what foods were positive foods for me. I joined a gym then quickly realised that I only get so much time with my children and although them seeing me being active was good, it also took our time away ( Remember I have 4 children and by saying this I am in no way saying you shouldn't use the gym) So we dumped that and decided together we would be as active as we possibly could. I run with my four kiddies, we play, we have massive dance parties before bed, we do Mamas crazy work out DVDs 'together' ( really they just stand there laughing at how red I am ) I never mention my weight in front of them being careful of their young minds.
We raise our children, we raise their thought patterns. We have the incredible honour and power to raise our children with a positive image of who they are. One thing I constantly tell my children is that they are beautiful, they are beautiful and beauty starts on the inside. Our words have so much more power then we realise. Our words have the power to build up who they are or tear them down. Scary right? pressure I know but this is the reality of parenting! I don't know about you but putting the pressure that parenting brings aside, what an incredible thought! we can build our children up! We can help them see themselves exactly how we see them! we help them create an outlook on life and on themselves that will be their rock throughout those crazy primary school years, those testing teen years and the intense 20s ( which I'm still in by the way) We build them up! lets teach our children to love themselves from the inside out!
Now that I have our children covered, Mama I want to talk to you!
I have spoken to so many women over the past few months that have told me how unhappy they are with the way they look and one phrase was said far too much "I hate my body" followed quickly by its my fault I look this way. Can you all do me one favour? Never use the word hate again! your body has created life! It has changed to accommodate a human! I look at every mark Big or small now with thankfulness. I created four beautiful, stubborn, incredible humans! Me! My body! I am proud of what it has done and I have made a vow to myself to let go of the what ifs and be comfortable with the skin I am in.
Can I ask you to do something for me? Tonight stand in front of a mirror and take off your clothes. Now I want you to write down your 5 favourite parts of your body. Be honest with yourself and look closely. I know this can be hard, trust me, the first time I did this I cried a lot but then I started to see those 5 things one by one.
My Collar bone
My moles on my chest
My fifth thing came as a shock to me, it was the one things about myself I "hated" most yet here I was loving it. My hour glass shape, the way my sides went in right above my hips. I was learning to love myself!
over the next 3 months I would watch my body change. I didn't stand there wishing for a different shape, I started getting comfortable with WHO I AM. I embraced me, not the models I have wanted to look like in the past. The longing to be somebody different has gone. I am me. unashamedly! I am naturally very conservative and my body is private so will I be posting almost nude images of myself on social media because of this new found love I have for my body? No. Does this mean I am less confident with my body then those who do? No. Does being confident scream vainness? No! although I do think some get the two confused.
Let's get comfortable, let's except who we are and learn to be confident in it. Be you! lets stop looking at the perfect bodies all over instagram and remember an image is just an image. Lets stop striving to be someone we are not and instead strive to be the very best version of ourselves.
One last thing. When you have those down days, lets face it we all do! Say this one thing until you start to feel confident - Embrace it! Embrace it! Embrace it!