Letter to my children
Letter to my children ,
I wake to you standing there saying Mummy Mummy Mummy every morning , after the very few hours of sleep I have had I lift my arm to raise the covers and you climb in , I could just stay right here , those tiny toes on my legs keeping warm , the sweet little kisses on my cheek as I lay and listen to youtell me the dreams you had while you were sleeping. My alarm sounds and that moment must end , we all race around , I get ready for a big day at work as you get ready to fill your head with the knowledge the day will bring you. Saying I will miss you as I'm out the door . You may never see my tears , I hide them.... They will never be you burden to bare . But as you grow you will know in your heart that they are there. I never want to go but even though you don't understand the reasons I do , it's all for you. There are milestones I miss , there are smiles I don't see. I know your safe and happy , you know you are loved but it never gets easier. I work because I have to teach you to chase your dreams , I work to show you even as a Mummy or Daddy you must live a life you are proud of , I work to take some of that weight off Daddies shoulders and to give you a home to feel safe. You may not know this but work will never take your place , I long to hold you , I can't wait to be home.
As I walk through that door I hear 4 sets of feet come running , I kneel down bracing myself for the massive hugs. You say Mummy we missed you , I hug you tighter. We play , mummy cleans , we cook , you have splashes in the bath . Before you know it we are reading bedtime stories all tucked up in bed . We talk about your days and say our prayers. My body is aching , after 4 lullabies I walk down the hall . I'm exhausted and all I can think about is trying to catch some sleep before you wake through the night but there are dishes to be done , there is washing waiting in the laundry , again I race to do the jobs so I can finally sit down with Daddy but as I do I remember how sweet you all look as you sleep. We check on you hand and hand , we stand in awe of the amazing children you are. We are so blessed . There is so much we can't tell you , there are so many hard times we shelter you from. You are ours to take care of , we must teach you what you need to take on your futures. This love is so great , but time goes by much to fast . There are so much I must sacrifice. The love of a parent is a love you will never understand until you have children of your own . . It feels as though our hearts my burst , it's indescribable , could never be put in to words.
Sometimes I may fail , sometimes it may seem like I'm not there , sometimes I get mad, I have my bad days. I try my hardest but everyday I'm still learning . I may not know the best bottle to use or the answers to your homework but I will make this promise you today and every day, I will be here, I will try, I will fight. I will be the Mummy you are worthy of.
Love always your Mum