What A Mom Wants
Ok now seriously , I hope you all get me and where I am coming from. As I look back to the moment I became a Mum for the first time my heart skips a beat . That first touch was a moment that will be written in time forever , I heard the first cry , I smelt that baby smell. My life was changed and I would never be that same. I wasn't just Kristen I was Mumma. Really words could never do this moment justice. If you are carrying your first child and are reading this , get excited because you are about to experience this moment and if you are already a Mum you will be able to relate right to this space in time I am referring to.
I was ready , I was prepared , I was excited to start my journey of Motherhood. I wanted to soak up every minute and be present through it all.
What I wasn't prepared for however was the way I felt. I was sure the feelings I was feeling weren't normal. Aren't you surposed to be head over heels gushing over this new little life ? Sure I was , but I was also over run with emotions I never thought I would feel. I felt alone and in pain . I had never been so exhausted and I cried for days. I felt like the worst Mum and that somehow I wasn't connecting with my baby. I hid how I was feeling from everyone out of being ashamed of the way I felt. I just wished someone had told me this was expected and normal and that I was doing amazing. So here it is , from my experience to yours . What Moms want. What I wanted . What so many I speak to want. We are normal . We are beautiful . We are strong .
- Please please please , we don't need to hear all of your opinions , yes we realise child birth will be painful , yes we realise we are about to have a lot of sleepless nights . We totally get it , our house will not be so clean and yes we understand Motherhood is harder then we could imagine. Please tell us the good parts , tell us how we may feel and the good we can expect. Tell us even though feeding our child may be painful it will also be beautiful also tell us if we can't , that too is ok! Tell us that we can do this! Tell us we are made for this!
- Be there for us . We are about to go through a massive life change . Our bodies feel shocked and we are never quite prepared for the lack of sleep. So when you visit , please offer to do the dishes , cook a meal or just play with the other children. Even if we don't ask , we would love for you to take the older kids to the park so we can have the first shower we have had in days. But most importantly just make us a cup of tea and sit and listen to how we are handling these first days of Motherhood.
- Give us a date night . One of the most important things my husband and I learnt was our marriage had to come first. We needed a date night! We needed to stay connected! We need to hold hand and kiss in the movies. Our men can feel so forgotten when a baby enters the house and it's important for us to spend the time with them we both need so please offer to watch the baby even just for an hour (because let's face it , we will miss the baby to much for any longer) so we can keep our marriage strong.
- Please don't judge , one of the most hurtful things we can feel is the judgment of others. We are doing the best we can and yes we may get it wrong sometimes but these are lessons we have to learn. We have to get knocked down sometimes to build ourselves up but we will because our nurturing nature will fully equip us with what we need to be a Mum.
- Bathe in the beautiful moments with us. Yes we may be totally consumed with this little life and we may talk about them (a lot) but we only ever get this time once! The love we feel is unexplainable and we can't possibly understand it. They are apart of us and help us become who we are so let us talk a bit. Let's us brag about the fact that they burped really well after their last feed.
Most of all we need you. The fact that you are around us and we let you in to our Unclean , emotional home shows that we want you apart of these moments. We love you , we appreciate you.
In short , these moments are the moments that will last a life time. Let celebrate them , let's adore them and let's just sit in them while they are there. Embrace Motherhood and all it has to offer.