But you will be a young Mum!
The words I didn't dream I would hear until I did. I had my life planned out, I knew exactly who I would be and where I would go in life. I had planned and I had dreamed . I would move to Paris and spend my life doing make up in the fashion central of the world. I had worked so hard and had my heart set. And then my world changed. Hearing the words you're pregnant at 17 were the words I never thought I would hear, I had my plans but I was young. I didn't understand consequence I never thought that would happen to me.
Sitting there with the Dr I cried and cried as she rolled off the different dates for abortions, I hadn't even made a sound yet and that was what was expected? As I heard her say that word, I sat up and looked at her and said no I can't, I won't. walked out of there as fast as I could and sat in my car in the rain and cried. I was in New Zealand my parents were in Australia and my babies father, well I knew for him this wasn't going to fit into his plans either. I felt alone and afraid I turned to sisters and a friend for advice, they were incredible but no one could make this decision for me or help me work this out in my mind. What would my life be? How would I raise this baby? How disappointed would my parents be ? Will I be judged? Will my babies father ever be a part of the picture? All I knew for sure was that I was in love, I was in love with this tiny baby growing inside of me. I was terrified at how I could love someone so much that I had never meet. As my tummy grew so did I. My whole world changed, I found this strength I never knew I had, I started to see life for what it was, I thought less of what I needed and thought constantly of the life my beautiful boy would live. He had changed me forever - My life had meaning and beauty.
The night he was born I can't put into words, it was a night of the worst pain my then 18 year old body had imagined, there was no husband by my side telling me I would be ok. There was no husband to hold my hand or cut the cord. I was taken to my room with my beautiful Jackson in my arms and I just stared at him, I longed for someone to feel the way I felt, I wanted to be able to say look at him look at what we created but I was alone. I choose at that moment to be what I had to be for him, I choose to never give up no matter how hard things got. I did what ever I had to for him and to provide for him. I ignored the comments and stares as I was His Mother.
Thinking back to all this it seems like it happened to a different person. I have an incredible Husband and 3 more beautiful babies. And I will never take this for granted. Being a young Mum is incredibly hard and then to be a young single Mum, it's too hard to imagine.
If you are a young mum reading this, it gets easier! Everyday holds new promise. Be strong! Find faith and have trust that this will pass.
If you know a young Mum, give her a break. Don't be quick to judge, give advice only when needed (she has to learn something's on her own), buy her flowers and coffee, sit and just listen and when she grumbles pick her up and tell her to keep going.
The most amazing gift my Mum gave me was hiding her pain. She never once said I had done wrong or that she was disappointed, she just told me she loved this baby.